When Governor Sanford's adultery was first revealed, I heard a discussion on TV about whether or not his wife Jenny should stay with him. They talked about the fact that she is a Christian and then one of the commentators said, "I think she's much too strong to stay with him."
During another discussion on another day about Gayle Haggard remaining with Ted, the commentator implied that a stronger woman would have left him.
The counselor I was going to when I stood for our marriage responded exactly the same way to me. He questioned my self-image and implied that I was weak in remaining in the marriage and believing for our healing.
All I can say is people who speak that way have no idea the courage and strength it takes to stand against all odds and believe God to restore a spouse and a marriage. Not only does it take fortitude to stand against the enemy, you also have to stand against the Body of Christ that brings more discouragement than support.
And the challenge to strength comes when every one of us is feeling our weakest. When our heart has been broken, our confidence erased, and our self-image has hit bottom, we must learn to stand strong and fight the good fight of faith. How wonderful it is to have a Savior at a time like that!
"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10
The world cannot understand that kind of strength. Heavens, sometimes the Body of Christ can't understand that kind of strength. When we are our weakest, He is our strength. When we are crushed, He brings wholeness. When we are in despair, He brings hope. When we can't see past today, He brings vision for tomorrow. When we are without hope, He is our hope.
The fact that we are weak in ourselves and that we can recognize that weakness is what enables us to draw totally on the Lord and rest in Him. So opposite of the world's idea of strength that is take life into your own hands and make good things happen for yourself. That includes getting rid of anyone and anything that stands in your way of happiness and fulfillment.
Walking closely with the Lord and fulfilling daily His call to faithfulness brings the greatest fulfillment and joy that I have known on this earth. Truly the joy of the Lord is our strength. In the midst of the worst circumstances we can walk in joy because He is our source and our strength.
I remember the day that Michael came to me and said, "I have had all the women I wanted and I could not find peace and joy. I have had all the money, fast cars, alcohol, and everything else the world offers and I have taken away from you all financial support and made life miserable for you. Yet every time I come into our home I find peace and joy. I can't find it anywhere in what I am doing. I know that Jesus must be real because I see His reality in your life. I know you and there is no way that you could do this on your own."
And he was right. Marilyn could never have done what only Jesus could do. His strength made me strong. His love made it possible for me to love. His hope gave me vision and His faith infused my heart and taught me to stand in faith as well.
So the next time someone tells you that you are weak for standing, just agree with them. Then share how Jesus strengthens the weak and through Him how you have become one of the strongest people in the world! ~ Marilyn
Beat your plowshares into swords And your pruning hooks into spears; Let the weak say, ‘I am strong." Joel 3:10
For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom; but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. 1 Corinthians 1:22-25
8 comments:
Thank you for this today. It was just what I needed to hear after a really really long weekend of battling hopelessness, insecurity, and unworthiness.
You are so right about the truly unfortunate way in which the "Body of Christ" does more in terms of discouragement than support of standing for a marriage. It has opened my eyes to the deception that is so prevalent even in our churches. Truly unfortunate that even the elect can be so deceived.
But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
Your thoughts and insight are so appreciated. Standing is a hard road to take and I often wonder if I should just give up. We are divorced now so I think most would think me crazy if I said I was still standing for my marriage.
God hates divorce and is always for reconciliation and restoration. I am divorced, my husband is living with another woman, asked her to marry him 1 month after meeting her, bought her a ring after knowing her for 4 months and I know that God has already restored my husband back to me. (I have no physical evidence) I am currently waiting on the manifistation and it will come. I stand on the word, fight the good fight of faith every day and HAVE FAITH IN GOD (Mark 11:22) I can do all things through Christ (the anointing) which strengthens me! God is good and as Proverbs 21:1 says The kings heart is in the hand of the Lord, like the rivers of water; he turns it wherever he wishes. Michelle God can and will change your husbands heart if you believe it. Don't let the devil lie to you and tell you half truths. If God is for you who can be against you. Most of my family and friends think I'm crazy. I don't care, I stand on the promises of God. When I was crying out to God for restoration of my marriage, God spoke to me " My promises are yes and Amen" and Repairer of the breach. I did not know where that was in the bible, so I found it. I also turned my face to the wall as Hezekiah did and sought God. I knew that He is the only one who can deliver me. Hallelujia! I TRUST GOD AND HAVE FAITH IN HIS WORD!
My husband left me for another woman a little over two months ago. Many people in the church are telling me G-d has someone better in store for me. I want to believe that G-d wants to restore my marriage and is big enough to do it. This is hard to hold onto when others are encouraging me to forget my husband and move on...
I found your web site just when I needed it most. I still am not sure if I should be "stupid" and stand for this marriage. God knows I love my husband and that I want what we had back. However, my husband has repeatedly told me he doesn't want to come back. He is living with a younger woman who is pregnant with his child even though he has not admitted this to my face. Just today, they posted some things on the Internet saying they are married - which is not legally possible as we ARE still married. I really do not know where I am headed. One minute I think I should move on and forget everything. The next minute, I know that I do not think divorce is an option. Your story has given me hope yet again (although I am not sure this is a good thing as my husband is not a Christian). I will be seeing a pastor tomorrow for counseling, and I will be sure to mention what I read from your book. Thank you.
Marilyn, how I appreciate your willingness to share what the Lord has shown you in understanding codependant relationships. I was a nurse in an alcoholic treatment center when I was younger and at the same time was struggling with my own codependance. I did not know the Lord then and in reality, I was actually developing many forms of suttel manipulation. Years later I came to know Jesus, but without realising it, I was transfering that to my walk with the Lord and others, namely my spouse, children. in areas. Pain, fear, pride and mistrust tries to hide, but it was essentially an underlying motivation that tried to cause me to control my world. It can be so deceptive and ultimately, I hardened my heart. I didn't really believe how much Jesus loves me, because I was still gauging my world on the way people responded to me and all the terrible things that happened to me.
I would regularly repent, forgive and cast my cares on the Lord. However, it seemed like I was on a tread mill and without realizing it, I had hardened my heart. Then the Lords presence was there less and less and now it seemed like Ephesians 4:18 was what I was experiancing. I walked through pastoral and missions training thru this time as well, but the codependent patterns were not really identified. I was continually dealing with heaviness, even tho I had not stopped seeking the Lord. Defeat and oppression were tying to overwhelm me. When I read your blog, things started to make sense.
This issue is not addressed enough in the body of Christ and I believe there are many who suffer from defeat, then harden their hearts and give up, because these codependant issues are not identified.
I've stood with God's grace, for the covenant of my marriage for 22 yrs. I have also been in Covenant Keepers, and I could detect hardness of heart at times, but I think this codependence has definitely been an underlying issue that has been uncovered.
I ask you to align your faith with me for deliverence and total healing, that I also can be free in my life. Only then as the Lord leads can I help others.
Blessings in Jesus
Tamara
Thankyou for continuing to pursue the Lord in this area. May He unfold even deeper revelation in this area, to you.
I couldn't agree more. Standing is the hardest thing I have ever done. Definately not for sissys!
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